The Struggle

December 2017: Carrying Life

The more I've been reading about analogue photography, it's becoming clearer that if I want to better photograph architecture and landscape subjects, I'll need to employ the abilities of a view camera. I already don't use autofocus or a light meter, so I'm thinking the leap should be easy.

With this in mind I re-read some books containing details about view cameras, which reminded me of finding and of the struggle trying to get these books home. Later, I realized the respect mothers deserve for bringing actual life into being.

• • •

The air outside clung to me like a wet blanket and I was looking for a warm place to duck in for a few minutes while waiting for the next portion of my day to begin. I noticed the golden glow of the library's bookstore as I shuffled along the sidewalk; it seemed empty, cozy and welcoming. Yep. I was correct, it was all those things, so I perused around the sci-fi novels for a bit. Then I moved over to the back racks since someone else needed to look at the novels. After a few minutes of trying to find anything of interest, I found them. For me this was like discovering a sacred scroll.

I could not believe my luck. Book after book - there - on the bottom shelf, sat the series of Life Library of Photography in perfect condition. Not believing my eyes that they were only a dollar each (these are large hardcovers), I went over to the desk staff to confirm. Yes, in fact, $1.00 each. I grabbed them all. Unprepared to carry the books, I had to get a library bag. This type of bag is fine for a few books, but not for the load I was carrying. The bag handle broke.

Oh, but wait, it gets worse - this is the life of Christina afterall. After finishing up for the day, it was now night; the weather had turned colder, windier and there was snow on the ground.

Slipping along the sidewalk, barely able to see and using both arms to carry the bag, the walk to the subway station seemed endless. Plus I had to navigate stairs to get to the train platform, transfer to a bus, then walk from the bus stop to home. By now my arms are trembling and I'm unsure my feet are still touching the pavement. Somehow I need to get to my keys, in the dark, open two sets of doors, and make it to the elevator… almost home.

With my throat dry and the remainder of me sweaty (why am I always sweating?), I made it inside and faced a new challenge: I tried taking off my coat and boots, but my arms had lost most of their strength and I found it difficult to coordinate the needed movements. A few days later I got sick with a cold that completely knocked me off my feet - guess I needed the rest.  

the struggle is worth it,

❤ Christina